Not Ready for Me
Written at unknown age
You’re the only one in my mind
How do you let go of a love that was so hard to find
Your kindness your purity is a dream for my eyes to see
But you’re not ready for me
To much pain you have had to endure
Trust you once had is now all obscure
Your sweet soul, so warm to my touch
Has been hurt so very much
Even if you know
I won’t hurt you
You cannot let go
I have fallen in with you so deep
From my love you must retreat
Leaving me all by myself, all alone
Sadness, cutting me to the bone
How long can I endure
This distance you need to explore?
How long can I hide
How much pain it leaves inside
You see how much I care
Of my feelings you are well aware
To my dismay
You push me away
I have the strength to help you survive
I have been there I can keep you alive
Look into my eyes, and it makes you scared?
Why is it of me, you need to beware?
I’m afraid to share with you what I write
Your fears keep you from seeing the light
My fear is you will run further and hide
My fear is it will push you deeper inside
I do not see the brightness at the end
Your pain, my loneliness, they are becoming our friend
Tell me, where do you go, what do you do
When the one you love isn't ready for you?
About Aember Shea Grey
Legal Name/Pen Name
Aember Shea Grey
Bio
I'm a first time writer although I've been writing short stories and poetry since I can remember. I'm writing the autobiography as a way to release what I've held inside for so long, pain. I believe I held this pain so close to my heart that my heart began to see pain as something precious, something special to me. My heart became fond to this pain and created a life to continue the pain. Living void of emotion, I let pain rule. I'm writing this book to free my emotions and unchain my heart. I want to release the pain I kept deep in my heart. I want my heart to feel a new reality. Pain has no value and is no longer precious to me. No matter how much I intellectually see this, if my heart doesn't feel it, I cannot live it. I hope others can find value in what I write. I want to believe when you turn your nightmares into your dreams, you'll never fear being alive and will always sleep well!
Major Influences
My biggest reason for everything in my life is my children, their love, futures and happiness are the reasons I exist!, Sparky, one of my best friends, was my biggest inspiration to write. He challenged me into showing my truest self and accepted me for who I was then he applauded like I was something special. He believed in me and helped me see what I said had value. When I didn't see that, he'd scold me for not believing in myself like I should.:), Then there is Gordy, a great editor but more a friend who cares. He's always worried that this writing was too much and hurting me by forcing me back into the dark places of my childhood. Even with his conservative nature he was still able to see the good in my extreme ways. I thought my writings would bring pain to others and didn't want to hurt anyone or burn bridges. He helped me to see how I could be burning paths to emotional strength and growth for me and maybe even others. They've both helped me to see the need to have faith in myself. They've helped me see that my true strength is that I'm being open and living in reality. It is through knowledge of my shortcomings, acceptance of my weaknesses, respecting my limitations but still having the courage to love myself that has allowed an open door to start healing.
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